This morning as my husband watched the news and drank a cup of coffee gearing up for the day. We watched a segment about parents who put their Children above their spouses. Of course they had a panel of "experts" that weighed in on the study that showed that it was not healthy for the family and leads to divorce. Of course no mention of God came in the segment, but here are my thoughts on the matter.
My belief is that I structure my priorities as like this: 1. God 2. Husband 3. Kids then everything else. I truly believe that when you love God more then anything everything else really comes naturally. This being said I still want to be intentional about making my husband a bigger priority then my children. Sigh, I probably lost a lot of you over this last statement, but please here me out.
When we love God with all our heart, soul and do not lean on our own understanding(luke 10:27/Deuteronomy 6:4)....we learn to love something that is bigger then us. We learn to love unconditionally. First we need to make that choice to move on to loving our husbands. Next when we love our husbands. When we love someone that is not perfect and that is flawed (like we all are). Putting your husband first sounds like you are saying you love your children less, it is the complete opposite.
I believe that showing that love to our husband teaches our children how to love unconditionally and that they will not get everything they want. Which leads me to my next point..many parents think that love means giving children whatever they want, signing them up for everything, having them in every activity, driving them all over the place, giving them all the time you would have with your husband, having them be the best at everything and striving to make them above average. When we do this what are we teaching our children? We are teaching them that they should have everything they want without waiting/working for it (which is why many young adults are in debt), that they should have something to do constantly, that they are the number one priority and their happiness is above others, that they have to be great at every thing, and that other things/people are more important then marriage (which leads to divorce). These are just some things that are being taught without anything being said.
This is not what I want my children to think about when they think about my love for them and my love for my husband. I want my kids to see that through loving God and my husband that I am a person that they can talk to, that they can come to in times of need, that they can fail and I will be there, that they can talk to me at about anything with a loving/open heart..these are just some of the attributes I want my kids to learn about love.
Here are some ways I feel like prioritize my husband:
1. I let him lead the family and back him up (with discipline, explanations, rules etc)
2. We have alone time when are kids are home and tell them its our alone time
3. We are affectionate around our kids
4. I honor his wishes
5. I cook his favorite meals even if my kids do not like them
6. I praise him in front of my children and others
7. I make eye contact with him in all situations (eye contact can do wonders :)
I know its the road less traveled, but I really and truly believe that it is best for the family unit as a whole.
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