Putting the Spouse First

Hello all, today is a cool October day here in the Chicagoland area. We even had a few snow flurries this morning. I know may will not like it...but I LOVE this weather. I just love the cozy warmness of my home, warm drinks, good company of family coming to visit. Its my favorite kind of day.

This morning as my husband watched the news and drank a cup of coffee gearing up for the day. We watched a segment about parents who put their Children above their spouses. Of course they had a panel of "experts" that weighed in on the study that showed that it was not healthy for the family and leads to divorce.  Of course no mention of God came in the segment, but here are my thoughts on the matter.

My belief is that I structure my priorities as like this: 1. God 2. Husband 3. Kids then everything else. I truly believe that when you love God more then anything everything else really comes naturally. This being said I still want to be intentional about making my husband a bigger priority then my children. Sigh, I probably lost a lot of you over this last statement, but please here me out.

When we love God with all our heart, soul and do not lean on our own understanding(luke 10:27/Deuteronomy 6:4)....we learn to love something that is bigger then us. We learn to love unconditionally. First we need to make that choice to move on to loving our husbands.  Next when we love our husbands. When we love someone that is not perfect and that is flawed (like we all are).  Putting your husband first sounds like you are saying you love your children less, it is the complete opposite.

I believe that showing that love to our husband teaches our children how to love unconditionally and that they will not get everything they want. Which leads me to my next point..many parents think that love means giving children whatever they want, signing them up for everything, having them in every activity, driving them all over the place, giving them all the time you would have with your husband, having them be the best at everything and striving to make them above average. When we do this what are we teaching our children? We are teaching them that they should have everything they want without waiting/working for it (which is why many young adults are in debt), that they should have something to do constantly, that they are the number one priority and their happiness is above others, that they have to be great at every thing, and  that other things/people are more important then marriage (which leads to divorce). These are just some things that are being taught without anything being said.

This is not what I want my children to think about when they think about my love for them and my love for my husband. I want my kids to see that through loving God and my husband that I am a person that they can talk to, that they can come to in times of need, that they can fail and I will be there, that they can talk to me at about anything with a loving/open heart..these are just some of the attributes I want my kids to learn about love.

Here are some ways I feel like prioritize my husband:
1. I let him lead the family and back him up (with discipline, explanations, rules etc)
2. We have alone time when are kids are home and tell them its our alone time
3. We are affectionate around our kids
4. I honor his wishes
5. I cook his favorite meals even if my kids do not like them
6. I praise him in front of my children and others
7. I make eye contact with him in all situations (eye contact can do wonders :)

I know its the road less traveled, but I really and truly believe that it is best for the family unit as a whole.

DIY hand painted sign

I have been wanting to make a DIY painted sign for years! Not sure why it took so long...must be the little ones running around and sheer exhaustion during nap time with lack of sleep. But I finally got the chance. This is a super easy project and may even go on my wish to sell one of these days when I get myself together and get a etsy shop going....Anyway here is the how too...

Need:

Long Board, this one was about eight feet (really whatever size thin board that will fit your space, it was bought at home depot)

White or off white paint

Paint markers, I used black

Print out in the type of font/size you want (I just made in on word)

Scissors

Pen or Pencil

Steady hand

backing (bought at home depot)

The process:

1.Paint board the color you would like.

2. Let dry completely (couple hours..great time to have a warm drink and grab some quiet time)

3. print out your saying mine says "In Christ alone my hope is found"

4. Tape saying to board

5. Trace works hard with pen/pencil to get a indentation

6. in GREAT light (and in my case without my 2 year old around, he would definitely want to grab everything) use your markers to color the words in carefully

7. put a backing on the board

8. hang it up and admire your great work

painting my board

Paper taped to my board

all done on..great to move inside on a table to paint the words..make sure you have AMAZING lighting for this project...good sunny day

Why I got baptized in believers baptism...

This past weekend was an amazing and important weekend for my husband and myself. We were both baptized in believers baptism.

To begin my story, I want to tell you just a four-five years ago, I would have told you I would never do such a thing. My kids were baptized even. But God has done a number on my heart throughout the past few years. I will post my testimony along with my husband's at the end of this post.

The reason I got baptized after being baptized as a baby is this: I did not choose to be baptized. My parents choose. Do not get me wrong, I am so blessed that they choose a pledge to raise me a Christian.  I have learned that I needed to make that decision for myself. In the past few years I have getting closer and closer to God. I started feeling the urge from God to be baptized about 8 months ago. I know it took me a long time to commit. It seemed like every time my church was having a baptism service, something was going on that I could not avoid.  Again, this time my husband was suppose to be going out of town to a business trip...and it got canceled. Amazing. We were able to be baptized. Its is funny how God does these things in our lives.

Anyway, as I began to become closer to God, and my acceptance of Jesus as my savior. I realized that going to heaven was not about anything I have done. There is nothing I could do to get myself there. It was about accepting Jesus as my savior and knowing that he was the only way I was going to get to heaven...I submitted my life to him about four years ago. John 14: 6 explains this: "Jesus answered "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through me""


 I began to study up on baptism. I saw that no one was a baby that was baptized in the bible. In fact everyone first accepted Jesus and committed to him before becoming baptized. I also looked into the history of baptism. It seems that the reason babies started to be baptized in the church was due to the need to be part of a church to stay citizens (and not be killed) in the past. It was more of a mark of their church not about salvation. It has now become tradition to most people and even it seems that many people think that this is the way to get to heaven.  Through my own study, I found no evidence of that. All of my studies (and my husband's) in the past few years have shown the complete opposite. You can not believe that you will get to heaven through good deeds or something you have done (baptism etc), and completely accept Jesus as your savior. It is either you believe you get to heaven from deeds/being a good person or Jesus saved us.  It can not be both. It doesn't work. A believer excepts that Jesus is the way, not by anything they have done.

Their are many verse on baptism, you can look up on your own ( Matthew 3: 13-17, Romans 6: 3-4, Acts 8: 26-37; 38, Acts 10: 47, 48, Acts 16: 14-15, Acts 16:33-34) to name a few. My favorite one is this Acts 2: 21
"Those WHO ACCEPTED his message were baptized...."

We also learned that the word "baptizo" in greek means "to dip or to immerse", not to sprinkle..which is done when you are baptized as a baby.

 My husband and I know now that they only way to get to heaven, is to admit we are sinners and accept Jesus as our savior. Jesus also works in our life's in the here and now as well. Everything just works better since we have become believers. Life is simpler, calmer and just works better.  Its amazing how much this change as been such a positive thing for my marriage, children and mself growth.


TESTIMONIES: 

My HUSBANDS:

Growing up I thought the way to heaven was by being a good person. If I lived a life where I did not steal, murder, or cheat I would make it to heaven. Having a relationship with Jesus was not even a thought in my head.

I was living my life making un-wise choices. When my wife became a Christian I was hesitate to change my lifestyle. I was having too much fun living the life I have known for many years. I saw the pain my actions were causing my family and I knew I needed to change. With the help of her and some Christian friends, I was led to Christ. I began to have a hunger to learn more. I started reading the bible, praying, and building a relationship with Jesus.

I now understand doing good deeds is not your ticket to heaven. I understand I am a sinner, and only Jesus can save me. My passion for knowledge and living for God increases everyday. I have joined an adult bible study where I have the support of Christian influences and friends that help continue to build my relationship with Jesus. I now go to him in times of sorrow and give him praise in times of joy.

MINE:

I have always claimed to be a Christian. I always believed I was a Christian, but I was always missing something. Something just did not seem right. Something was off. I was living a slippery slope of bad choices. I followed the path of typical college student followed by the path of the typical young adult living for myself, trying to have as much “fun” as I could. This lifestyle my husband and I had come to accept as normal was not leading to joy, but rather to hurt and distrust in our family. I came to see that the way I was living was not right. I felt as if I were reaching for something...trying to stay afloat but constantly missing the bar.

I realized I was not a real authentic Christian. I was a Christian by birth. It was something I was born into, not something I choose for myself. I decided to do the research through my own study of the bible. This was my salvation and I needed to make sure I was on the right path. What I found was eye opening to me, I was NOT a Christian. I found being a Christian is more then going to Church sometimes, telling others I am a Christian, trying to do the right thing or just coasting through life claiming to be a Christian. Without a personal relationship with God, I was not Christian.

I knew I needed a change and needed it quick. After some time I broke down, cried, admitted I am a sinner/always would be, accepted Jesus as my savior, and asked him to be part of my life. My relationship began with God that day.

Now my life has changed drastically and I live a whole different lifestyle. I do not live to please others, but to please God. I know it sounds like a cliché but it really does feel as I have been set free and made anew. Life is clearer and easier. That is not to say that hard things haven’t happened to me or my family. But even through illness and death in the family I have found God to be faithful. I have realized God’s plan for life is the best plan.

A bible verse that has really meant a lot to me throughout out my journey so far is Ephesians 3:20-21 “Now unto him who is able to do immeasurably more then all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to his glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever”




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The big question....How did I come to my faith....

I have always claimed to be a Christian. I always believed I was a Christian, but I was always missing something. Something just did not seem right. Something was off. My husband and I were living  a slippery slope of bad choices. We followed the path of typical college student and even the typical adult these days. Then some things happened that rocked our world....people got sick that we love, people died, the things we thought were certain in our lives were being turned upside down and some personal struggles were apparent. We came to see that the way we were living was not right. We felt as if we were reaching for something...trying to stay afloat but constantly missing the bar. 

My husband and I realized, we were not real authentic Christians. We were Christians by birth. It was something we were born into, not something we choose on our own. We decided to do the research through our own study of the bible, this was our salvation and we needed to make sure we were on the right path. What we found was eye opening to us, we were NOT Christians. We found being a Christian is way more then going to Church regularly/or sometimes, telling others we are Christians or just coasting through life claiming to be Christians. Without a personal relationship with God, we were not Christians.  We knew we needed a change and needed it quick. After some time both us broke down, cried, admitted we were sinners/always would be, accepted Jesus as our savior,  and asked him to be part of our lives. Our relationship began with God that day. We did not have one before that day. 

Since that day several years ago our lives have became huge change. Its been very hard to break old bad habits. The main key to breaking old bad habits is staying away from them, talking about them and accepting you will always be prone to doing them. I must say its been very hard, but our family has been never been so strong, my husband and I have never had such a great relationship and our kids are learning by our example.  Once we accepted that we needed to change, we really began to see God's hand in our lives. His plan for life just makes sense.  We seemed to make things so difficult before, once we had a clear picture of what God wants from marriage/life it was easier. Weights were lifted off both of our shoulders. 

Our change has brought some to hate us, others to disapprove and others closer to us. The thing is God never said it would be easy to follow him. In fact, it is the oppisite. Many times he says the world will hate you when you choose to follow Jesus. The thing is, we are prone to sin. That is why we have such a hard time accepting when people we love choose to live a life devoted to following Christ. I don't blame any one who has had this feeling about me. I have felt the same way about others that figured it out before me. I know the feeling.

One thing I have noticed since we have become authentic Christians. We are held to a higher standard. Everyone is watching us. To the people who think we are perfect..or that we will not make mistakes. You are wrong. We sin every day! The difference is we know the sin, acknowledge it, confront it, ask God for forgiveness and try to change. Its a ever changing battle that we work on each and every day. Its part of being human. Some days we do better then others.

Some things that have really changed since we accepted Jesus as our savior:
1. We pray at meal times
2. We pray at bedtimes with our children
3. We read the bible with our children
4. We have a personal time daily for God and our own bible reading
5. We pray jointly/individually
6. We have stopped putting ourselves in positions to sin when we can
7. We have stopped listening to those who do not support our faith
8. We have realized that the worlds way is not the best way...God's way is the best plan for us all
9. Our marriage is stronger
10. Our family is stronger
11. We have a strong foundation for our marriage and our family (a cord of three is not easily broken Ecc 4:12)
12. We have deep, intimate, caring relationships with those we love
13. We have served/helped other more
14. We are committed to helping others
15. We WANT to help/serve and do not feel obligated to..we feel lead to
16. Life is clearer, We prayerfully commit or consider decisions
17. We discipline our children more efficiently
18. We talk more openly to each other, the kids and people we love
19. It is easier to ask for help...emotionally, supportive or for needs
20. We have a church family..its an amazing thing
21. We prayerfully commit or consider decisions

This was hard for me to write. I am really putting myself out there,  but I feel its necessary to explain our faith going forward with this blog. My
hope is to be real with you through this journey. I would not be real with you if I did not share about the most important thing in my life...my God and my faith.