Buying gifts we can not afford....

Having two very social children and a rather large extended family we buy a lot of gifts throughout the year. I love to buy gifts. I love to watch others open gifts. But something my husband and I have decided is that we will not be buying gifts we can not afford.

The first reason we do not buy gifts on a credit card/with we do not have money for is that we can not pay back is this: its not as meaningful.  

Buying gifts for others is suppose to be a joyful thing. When you owe money or can not afford the gift. Its just not joyful. Its actually a huge burden since you can not pay it back or your strapped that month. I do not feel joy when I have those feeling. I feel binded and a gross icky feeling comes over me. Also I do not know about you but when I receive real meaningful gift. It means a lot more to me. If I know someone's finical situation is not great and they give me, for example, a new coach purse. I would feel bad that they were buying the item for me, and the purse would not mean much to me...it would also give me a gross feeling since I know that the person is struggling or making payments for this gift for me.  A homemade or inexpensive gift would make me feel better then a purse that someone can not afford. 

The second reason is this: I dont want to be held down my by bills. 

 Its actually a huge burden since you can not pay it back or your strapped that month. I do not feel joy when I have those feeling. I feel binded and gross. I know I can find gifts that aren't over my budget with coupons, making it and setting limits on our spending.

Some examples of meaningful inexpensive gifts:
Small gift cards---5 and 10 dollar gift cards to a favorite places can just make someones day
Hand stamped homemade metal jewelry (easy, meaningful, fun)
Scarfs--I have many easy scarfs that can just take 15-30 mins even
Homemade cards and words of encouragement can mean more to some people then expensive gifts
Drink cup and favorite drink combo
Dollar store finds crafted up or a five dollar dash-you can dash around the store and have yourself (or kids) buy 5 items that you think your present holder may like
Stock up on kids toys on clearance (i always have a few easy gifts in my basement)
Date night--free child care!!! HUGE gift any mom/dad would love
Clean out someone's car
favorite book you have read (or even a 10 dollar amazon card for books or instant movies---you can also give redbox gift cards for 10 dollars--thats 10 movie nights!!)
Coupon mini folder with coupons in it (can be found at dollar store)
Cards and stationary from home goods--you can even find ones with the persons initials pretty easily for 5-8 dollars
These are just a few easy ideas

The third reason is this: Its not Biblical. 
Romans 13:8: Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing delt to love one another for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law

Proverbs 13:11 Dishonest Money dwindles away, but he who gathers money little by little makes it grow.
Ecclesiastes 5:10 Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income, This too is meaningless
Matthew 6:24 "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the ome and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and Money.
1 Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs
Matthew 6:21 For where your treasures is, there your heart will be also.

If you have someone in your life that is expecting you to spend a lot on gifts you can not afford. Some things you can do:

1. Tell them bluntly. We can not afford that. 

As humans we tend to sympathize with people when we explain why we will or will not do something

2. Do not go in on gifts with them. 

3. Lower the bar

4. Pray for them. Because if they are pressuring you or making you feel bad about buying things you can not afford. They probably are buying things they can not afford. 

5. Work on your relationship with that person instead, if both parties are willing.
6. If the other party is not willing, look at your relationship...if someone is pressuring you to spend or do things you are not comfortable with..thats not a good relationship
7. Decide to just not buy gifts for one another if it is so upsetting, maybe spend time with them instead..make them lunch or have a special coffee date with them. Do something together instead of the gift. Sometimes your time is worth more then your money/gift to other people.

I know it is still August, but I challenge all of you this holiday season and for birthdays this year. To just buy things you can afford. We have become this culture that we want things now....and we get it NOW. I like this too...but doesn't it feel better when we worked/waited for that item? Trust me the feeling you will get when you do not live above your means is amazing. It will change your outlook on life. It will also bring relationships closer together. 

Favorite Go to Easy Meal: Street Tacos

Over the years, I find myself going back to some very simple recipes when I am in a bind. I love to try out new recipes but I find myself having a two year old on my hip and a very curious almost 6 year old that wants to help. This leaves little room for a long process of cooking most days. Here is one of my go to meals that does not take a long time and does not break the bank. I rarely measure, so you will see in my recipes they will be a pinch of this a handful of that. I find it makes each dish unique and less dishes to wash :).


Tacos in many variations

Tradational-made with own taco seasons (cumin, chill powder, garlic powder and salt)

Street Tacos
Need:
Roast
Chili powder, Cumin. salt, garlic powder
Corn Tortias
Onions
Clinatro


Brown Roast on all sides in pan and then place in crocket pot with seasons (about a teaspoon of each) put on low for 7-8 hours or high for 3-4 hours. I find the low setting is always best. When cooled shred with fork. Put into freezer bags for meal portions. Fry meat with onion/garlic in pan until crisp. warm tortias in a potato sack warmer (i bought one at a craft fair and i love it! If you know how to sew make one here is a link to instructions or find on etsy. I found mine at a craft fair...LOVE IT!

http://www.instructables.com/id/Amazing-Microwave-Potato-Bag/)

If you dont have or what to make potato sack just wrap in paper towel.

Put extra onions and cilntro on top. Serve with Guacamole, black beans, salsa


Enjoy! Super easy. I will be posting more of my go to recipes...Since school as started I am leaning more to recipes I can mostly get done before my daughter gets home so I can focus on her when she's home.

After School Routines

I wrote this blog post on my previous blog. I decided to revisit for myself as we are getting back into our school routine. Just the other day I got her little after school list out. Our day is a little bit different now since she gets home a bit earlier and she has not received any homework just yet. Since she does not have homework yet, we are mainly focusing on extra reading time.  

I still think this a good model to follow after school. I do give it a bit of grace right now since she does not have homework and the weather is still nice (or super hot), she likes to play a bit with her friends at the bus stop.

Here is the post from last year:

Since emily is my first kid in school it's been a bit of a challenge getting into a routine. She comes home exhausted and whiney almost daily. It has been a constant battle with her to behave when she gets home.

A couple of weeks ago I made this little check list which has really helped a lot. She knows what she is to do when she gets home and what is expected. 

When she gets home I have this check list out and she goes through each item. I put a timer on for each activity.  

As a bonus she had been writing much nicer. Now that she has a set schedule it helps me make sure she is working on each of these areas daily and for a set amount of time. 

When her homework is completed I have her do a white board, jounral, workbook or do math with me. Since she is in kindergarten. I tend to spend this time with her. This also gives her some focused attention which I know she needs after a long day at school and really it's only 15 minutes followed by 10 minutes of reading on her own. 

Why I got baptized in believers baptism...

This past weekend was an amazing and important weekend for my husband and myself. We were both baptized in believers baptism.

To begin my story, I want to tell you just a four-five years ago, I would have told you I would never do such a thing. My kids were baptized even. But God has done a number on my heart throughout the past few years. I will post my testimony along with my husband's at the end of this post.

The reason I got baptized after being baptized as a baby is this: I did not choose to be baptized. My parents choose. Do not get me wrong, I am so blessed that they choose a pledge to raise me a Christian.  I have learned that I needed to make that decision for myself. In the past few years I have getting closer and closer to God. I started feeling the urge from God to be baptized about 8 months ago. I know it took me a long time to commit. It seemed like every time my church was having a baptism service, something was going on that I could not avoid.  Again, this time my husband was suppose to be going out of town to a business trip...and it got canceled. Amazing. We were able to be baptized. Its is funny how God does these things in our lives.

Anyway, as I began to become closer to God, and my acceptance of Jesus as my savior. I realized that going to heaven was not about anything I have done. There is nothing I could do to get myself there. It was about accepting Jesus as my savior and knowing that he was the only way I was going to get to heaven...I submitted my life to him about four years ago. John 14: 6 explains this: "Jesus answered "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through me""


 I began to study up on baptism. I saw that no one was a baby that was baptized in the bible. In fact everyone first accepted Jesus and committed to him before becoming baptized. I also looked into the history of baptism. It seems that the reason babies started to be baptized in the church was due to the need to be part of a church to stay citizens (and not be killed) in the past. It was more of a mark of their church not about salvation. It has now become tradition to most people and even it seems that many people think that this is the way to get to heaven.  Through my own study, I found no evidence of that. All of my studies (and my husband's) in the past few years have shown the complete opposite. You can not believe that you will get to heaven through good deeds or something you have done (baptism etc), and completely accept Jesus as your savior. It is either you believe you get to heaven from deeds/being a good person or Jesus saved us.  It can not be both. It doesn't work. A believer excepts that Jesus is the way, not by anything they have done.

Their are many verse on baptism, you can look up on your own ( Matthew 3: 13-17, Romans 6: 3-4, Acts 8: 26-37; 38, Acts 10: 47, 48, Acts 16: 14-15, Acts 16:33-34) to name a few. My favorite one is this Acts 2: 21
"Those WHO ACCEPTED his message were baptized...."

We also learned that the word "baptizo" in greek means "to dip or to immerse", not to sprinkle..which is done when you are baptized as a baby.

 My husband and I know now that they only way to get to heaven, is to admit we are sinners and accept Jesus as our savior. Jesus also works in our life's in the here and now as well. Everything just works better since we have become believers. Life is simpler, calmer and just works better.  Its amazing how much this change as been such a positive thing for my marriage, children and mself growth.


TESTIMONIES: 

My HUSBANDS:

Growing up I thought the way to heaven was by being a good person. If I lived a life where I did not steal, murder, or cheat I would make it to heaven. Having a relationship with Jesus was not even a thought in my head.

I was living my life making un-wise choices. When my wife became a Christian I was hesitate to change my lifestyle. I was having too much fun living the life I have known for many years. I saw the pain my actions were causing my family and I knew I needed to change. With the help of her and some Christian friends, I was led to Christ. I began to have a hunger to learn more. I started reading the bible, praying, and building a relationship with Jesus.

I now understand doing good deeds is not your ticket to heaven. I understand I am a sinner, and only Jesus can save me. My passion for knowledge and living for God increases everyday. I have joined an adult bible study where I have the support of Christian influences and friends that help continue to build my relationship with Jesus. I now go to him in times of sorrow and give him praise in times of joy.

MINE:

I have always claimed to be a Christian. I always believed I was a Christian, but I was always missing something. Something just did not seem right. Something was off. I was living a slippery slope of bad choices. I followed the path of typical college student followed by the path of the typical young adult living for myself, trying to have as much “fun” as I could. This lifestyle my husband and I had come to accept as normal was not leading to joy, but rather to hurt and distrust in our family. I came to see that the way I was living was not right. I felt as if I were reaching for something...trying to stay afloat but constantly missing the bar.

I realized I was not a real authentic Christian. I was a Christian by birth. It was something I was born into, not something I choose for myself. I decided to do the research through my own study of the bible. This was my salvation and I needed to make sure I was on the right path. What I found was eye opening to me, I was NOT a Christian. I found being a Christian is more then going to Church sometimes, telling others I am a Christian, trying to do the right thing or just coasting through life claiming to be a Christian. Without a personal relationship with God, I was not Christian.

I knew I needed a change and needed it quick. After some time I broke down, cried, admitted I am a sinner/always would be, accepted Jesus as my savior, and asked him to be part of my life. My relationship began with God that day.

Now my life has changed drastically and I live a whole different lifestyle. I do not live to please others, but to please God. I know it sounds like a cliché but it really does feel as I have been set free and made anew. Life is clearer and easier. That is not to say that hard things haven’t happened to me or my family. But even through illness and death in the family I have found God to be faithful. I have realized God’s plan for life is the best plan.

A bible verse that has really meant a lot to me throughout out my journey so far is Ephesians 3:20-21 “Now unto him who is able to do immeasurably more then all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to his glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever”




Make sure to follow me on facebook: Motherhood and everything in between 

The first days of school

Monday was my little girls first day of first grade. You would think it would not be as hard as the first day of kindergarten, and in some ways it is not, but I still get emotional.

This is my little girl, and she is just growing so quickly. I keep thinking when did this happen? It seems like just yesterday she was this little baby that could barely move and just wanted to be nuzzled in her mothers arms.  Luckily for me, E still loves to be cuddled, and would mostly choose that time with me then doing other things.  Which leads me to cherishing those moments, since I know in just a few years she won't want that anymore...in spite of her telling me she always will. 

Where does the time go? It just seems to slip away so quickly. When I reflect on this, I begin to think why did I have to get the dishes done when my little girl wanted to read? Was it that important? For those of you that do not know me, my family is very neat and tidy, my husband gets very stressed in a messy house. So it is important to us, but can't I just stop and read the book?  It makes me think of the things that are more important then chores or obligations. Sometimes I need to let these things go, to allow this time with my little ones that are just growing ever so quickly. 

Last night my husband took R to home depot and E and I stayed home. We rode bikes, read books and played on her tire swing. I am in awe of what she has already accomplished at just 6. She is reading books to me, riding on a two wheeler with no help and can swing all by herself. I remember just last summer she needed a lot of guidance in all these areas. Now she does them effortlessly without any need of help from me. I began to think of how when she was born and I would fantasize about the day she could walk, only then it would be easier....the day she could talk, that would be easier...the day I did not have to cut her food into a million pieces, that would be easier. Now with my son I to really cherish those moments and not rush him to grow up. Those moments are important, but the moments they are in now are just as important.

Every night my husband and I retuck our kids in, some times my son who is 2 stands up with his "blankie-blank" and just wants more cuddle time. I never refuse it. Some may say that I am building bad sleeping habits, but I say I this is my son who wants to spend some special time with his mom. These moments are far to few to ignore, and when my kids are all grown I know I will not regret spending the extra few minutes cuddling him, singing to him and praying over him.

As I watched my little girl enter the bus with a driver I do not know, into a school I know little about, with a teacher I briefly met. I marvel at this, its frightening and yet a sense of pride steps in. My little girl is smart, she is wise and she can handle doing things without me. At some point I have to just let go, trust God and trust she will do the right thing, follow the right path. She is an amazing little girl, I know she has a loving heart. I know she will make mistakes but she will also grow into an amazing women someday. 

stick and stones will break my bones....

stick and stones will break my bones......But words will never hurt me

Is this statement true? 

This morning I was drinking my coffee and checking facebook when I came across this post:

It is something that has bothered me for quite some time. Why is it we joke and use sarcasm as someone else'e expense? I have come to the conclusion that this is wrong and hurtful.

Jokes at someone's expense:
I have never been a fan of making fun of someone based their looks, career choices, beliefs, etc. Have we become so one minded that we can only see the outside or one way of thinking? A lot of the time the person is not even there to defend their self. Why is it we assume the worse about a person? As seen above we should not jump to conclusions and always assume the best about someone. 

The truth is it's not our business most of the time either. Plus we usually do not know all the details yet we continue to act as if we know the details and that the way we see it is must be right. 

Also, if someone is thinking that way about others that are not there...how is this person seeing you in the present moment. When we laugh and go along with these jokes, we are saying it is ok. Thus, if we participate in these jokes, we are guaranteeing these people are doing it to us behind our backs and giving them the ok to do so.

Here are some bible verses that convey my point:
Proverbs 16:28: A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.
Proverbs 19: 1-29: Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in speech and is a fool. Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way. When a man's folly brings his way to ruin, his heart rages against the Lord. Wealth brings many new friends, but a poor man is deserted by his friend. A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will not escape.

Ephesians 4:29: Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

The definition of jokes is this: a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline.

We can still be funny and have a sense of humor without having it at the expense of others. 

Sarcasm:
I really have a hard time with personal attacks through sarcasm. People say things that are suppose to be jokes but really they are a attack on ones looks, beliefs, parenting style or many other things. If you do not accepted the joke, then you are looked on as a poor sport or fragile. But really you are being bullied.

Bible verses about sarcasm:
Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Proverbs 15: 1-33 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good. A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. A fool despises his father's instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.

Proverbs 13: 1-25 A wise son hears his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. From the fruit of his mouth a man eats what is good, but the desire of the treacherous is for violence. Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied. The righteous hates falsehood, but the wicked brings shame and disgrace.

The definition of sarcasm: the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.

My challenge is this: 

Can we use jokes not at others expenses?  Can we stop finding that sarcasm against someone else is acceptable social behavior?

If you have a hard time and want to change your behavior or how you react here are some ways to help change this habit.

1. Commit to not using jokes or sarcasm at someone's expense.
2.  Mom's golden rule: If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. Simple but true.
3. Begin to step back and recognize when people are saying things that would hurt others.
4. Do not laugh when others are talking like this. Just say nothing and do not react.
5. If all your friends do this, do not call them out, just don't participate.
6. Surround yourself with friends that will not do it. It will help you stay strong.
7. Silence can get a point across just as much or even more then calling someone out.
8. If a person is using sarcasm about someone in the group change the subject and later on talk about something great about that person.


Of course we are not perfect. We will make mistakes, but to start and acknowledge the behavior can lead to change.


Please make sure to follow me on facebook:

 https://www.facebook.com/motherhoodandeverythinginbetween?ref_type=bookmark

STEPS TO: search and find a new career....

I told you some exciting and new things are happening in our household. I can finally tell you. My husband has made his first major career move since college (10 years).  He got a few offers within just 2 months and had a TON of leads. Today I would like to tell you the steps we used to searched, found and networked to get interviews for a major career move.  I will be posting details at a later date, I will add the links as I post.  I am not going to lie, it is A LOT of work and it creates stress. But the outcome can be so rewarding. To be honest, it has brought us even closer working as a team together.

As you may know I am a stay at home mom, I haven't worked in about 6 years. I became my husbands assistant. I basically found opportunities for him, sent in his resume, networked for him. As you probably have heard..finding a new career is a full time job, my husband still had a full time job so I asked him if I could help. If you have someone to help you, it will really help you out. One of the biggest lessons we learned is USE YOUR RESOURCES!

STEP 1:
The first step is to ask yourself if your ready for a change?
Here are some points to see if you are ready.
1, Is there any more room for growth in my current position?
2. If the answer is No, am I happy doing this job for the rest of my career?
3. Is my job fulfilling?
4. Do I feel like I am making a difference?
5. Am I heard at work?
6. How do I feel about my company's mission statement or vision for the future?
7. Am I happy with the benefits?
8. If there is room for growth, where do I see myself in 5 or 10 years?

STEP 2:
After that you must make a killer resume and cover letter. I will post about this in a later post.

STEP 3:
Find 3-5 professional references that will speak highly of you.

STEP 4:
Begin your Search. Post your resume on career builder, indeed and Monster. Many of my husbands opportunities were by companies FINDING HIM!
Sign up for search engines to send you emails on your job searches.
USE RECITERS! Network on them on linkdin. Make sure you have a killer linkdin profile, with your main points from your resume. Many employers check out my husbands. Be careful with social media. Keep it professional as well.

STEP 5:
Spend every morning sending out resumes, filling out applications for the jobs you received in your inbox and also do your own search. This could take 2-4 hours or more per day. It really is a full time job. The first day we began to search we spent a whole saturday.

STEP 6:
Don't get discouraged. It take a couple weeks to get some solid leads. Stick with it. Follow each lead and do not cancel any of them out until you found the perfect job for you.

STEP 7:
The Interview. I will give tips from my husband in a later post. There are two interviews you will most likely have a phone interview and a face to face interview. My husband also had a working interview and a presentation. Use recruiters as coaches. They do this for a living. They will give you great advice. We never paid for any services, most recruiters get paid from the companies. Remember they do not get paid if you do not find a job, so they are routing for you and will help you however they can.

Also use your friends and family for advice. We got a ton of help from others. We basically knew nothing until starting this process, we had a ton of help. Thank you to those that helped us. They know who they are!

STEP 8:
Follow up after interviews with professional with a personal touch about what you talked about thank you note.

STEP 9:
The offers!!! Know that nothing is in stone. We learned employers can back out at anytime with an at will contract. Its a bit scary. You may be able to to get a contract with a guaranteed amount of work time depending on your field of work. My husband was looking at  Operations Management type jobs they are mostly "at will" jobs.

STEP 10:
examine your offer very closely. Make sure you look at EVERYTHING. The benefits especially, my husband was actually offered a job that made more money but the benefits were not as good...so really the less paying job was a better deal.

You should have EVERYTHING in writing.

STEP 11:
If you  become in a multiple offer situation, it is ideal. You can use the other offers to increase your salary, benefits or vacation time at the job you prefer.

Make sure you get all your details about the job you are looking to take..what is the dress code (am I going to have to purchase a lot of items for this job?) What are the hours? Do I get a cell phone? What is the rate of promotions? What are other jobs I can look forward to in the future? When are reviews done? If their are bonuses, what are the details--When? How much? what needs to be accomplished? Has this goal been accomplished in the past few years? These are some of the questions you might ask.

STEP 12:
I highly recommend some time off in between jobs to get geared up for your next career move if possible.

STEP 13:
Start your first day and enjoy a break from the job search!!!

I hope these steps can give a clear outline. In the next few weeks I will fill in the details. Remember to breath throughout this process. It can be consuming.

PLEASE MAKE SURE TO FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK:

https://www.facebook.com/motherhoodandeverythinginbetween?ref_type=bookmark