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Thursday, August 28, 2014

Buying gifts we can not afford....

Having two very social children and a rather large extended family we buy a lot of gifts throughout the year. I love to buy gifts. I love to watch others open gifts. But something my husband and I have decided is that we will not be buying gifts we can not afford.

The first reason we do not buy gifts on a credit card/with we do not have money for is that we can not pay back is this: its not as meaningful.  
Buying gifts for others is suppose to be a joyful thing. When you owe money or can not afford the gift. Its just not joyful. Its actually a huge burden since you can not pay it back or your strapped that month. I do not feel joy when I have those feeling. I feel binded and a gross icky feeling comes over me. Also I do not know about you but when I receive real meaningful gift. It means a lot more to me. If I know someone's finical situation is not great and they give me, for example, a new coach purse. I would feel bad that they were buying the item for me, and the purse would not mean much to me...it would also give me a gross feeling since I know that the person is struggling or making payments for this gift for me.  A homemade or inexpensive gift would make me feel better then a purse that someone can not afford. 

The second reason is this: I dont want to be held down my by bills. 
 Its actually a huge burden since you can not pay it back or your strapped that month. I do not feel joy when I have those feeling. I feel binded and gross. I know I can find gifts that aren't over my budget with coupons, making it and setting limits on our spending.

Some examples of meaningful inexpensive gifts:
Small gift cards---5 and 10 dollar gift cards to a favorite places can just make someones day
Hand stamped homemade metal jewelry (easy, meaningful, fun)
Scarfs--I have many easy scarfs that can just take 15-30 mins even
Homemade cards and words of encouragement can mean more to some people then expensive gifts
Drink cup and favorite drink combo
Dollar store finds crafted up or a five dollar dash-you can dash around the store and have yourself (or kids) buy 5 items that you think your present holder may like
Stock up on kids toys on clearance (i always have a few easy gifts in my basement)
Date night--free child care!!! HUGE gift any mom/dad would love
Clean out someone's car
favorite book you have read (or even a 10 dollar amazon card for books or instant movies---you can also give redbox gift cards for 10 dollars--thats 10 movie nights!!)
Coupon mini folder with coupons in it (can be found at dollar store)
Cards and stationary from home goods--you can even find ones with the persons initials pretty easily for 5-8 dollars
These are just a few easy ideas

The third reason is this: Its not Biblical. 
Romans 13:8: Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing delt to love one another for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law
Proverbs 13:11 Dishonest Money dwindles away, but he who gathers money little by little makes it grow.
Ecclesiastes 5:10 Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income, This too is meaningless
Matthew 6:24 "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the ome and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and Money.
1 Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs
Matthew 6:21 For where your treasures is, there your heart will be also.


If you have someone in your life that is expecting you to spend a lot on gifts you can not afford. Some things you can do:

1. Tell them bluntly. We can not afford that. 
As humans we tend to sympathize with people when we explain why we will or will not do something
2. Do not go in on gifts with them. 
3. Lower the bar
4. Pray for them. Because if they are pressuring you or making you feel bad about buying things you can not afford. They probably are buying things they can not afford. 
5. Work on your relationship with that person instead, if both parties are willing.
6. If the other party is not willing, look at your relationship...if someone is pressuring you to spend or do things you are not comfortable with..thats not a good relationship
7. Decide to just not buy gifts for one another if it is so upsetting, maybe spend time with them instead..make them lunch or have a special coffee date with them. Do something together instead of the gift. Sometimes your time is worth more then your money/gift to other people.


I know it is still August, but I challenge all of you this holiday season and for birthdays this year. To just buy things you can afford. We have become this culture that we want things now....and we get it NOW. I like this too...but doesn't it feel better when we worked/waited for that item? Trust me the feeling you will get when you do not live above your means is amazing. It will change your outlook on life. It will also bring relationships closer together. 

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