stick and stones will break my bones......But words will never hurt me
Is this statement true?
This morning I was drinking my coffee and checking facebook when I came across this post:
It is something that has bothered me for quite some time. Why is it we joke and use sarcasm as someone else'e expense? I have come to the conclusion that this is wrong and hurtful.
Jokes at someone's expense:
I have never been a fan of making fun of someone based their looks, career choices, beliefs, etc. Have we become so one minded that we can only see the outside or one way of thinking? A lot of the time the person is not even there to defend their self. Why is it we assume the worse about a person? As seen above we should not jump to conclusions and always assume the best about someone.
The truth is it's not our business most of the time either. Plus we usually do not know all the details yet we continue to act as if we know the details and that the way we see it is must be right.
Also, if someone is thinking that way about others that are not there...how is this person seeing you in the present moment. When we laugh and go along with these jokes, we are saying it is ok. Thus, if we participate in these jokes, we are guaranteeing these people are doing it to us behind our backs and giving them the ok to do so.
Here are some bible verses that convey my point:
Proverbs 16:28: A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.
Proverbs 19: 1-29: Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in speech and is a fool. Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way. When a man's folly brings his way to ruin, his heart rages against the Lord. Wealth brings many new friends, but a poor man is deserted by his friend. A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will not escape.
Ephesians 4:29: Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
The definition of jokes is this: a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline.
We can still be funny and have a sense of humor without having it at the expense of others.
Sarcasm:
I really have a hard time with personal attacks through sarcasm. People say things that are suppose to be jokes but really they are a attack on ones looks, beliefs, parenting style or many other things. If you do not accepted the joke, then you are looked on as a poor sport or fragile. But really you are being bullied.
Bible verses about sarcasm:
Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
The definition of sarcasm: the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.
My challenge is this:
Can we use jokes not at others expenses? Can we stop finding that sarcasm against someone else is acceptable social behavior?
If you have a hard time and want to change your behavior or how you react here are some ways to help change this habit.
1. Commit to not using jokes or sarcasm at someone's expense.
2. Mom's golden rule: If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. Simple but true.
3. Begin to step back and recognize when people are saying things that would hurt others.
4. Do not laugh when others are talking like this. Just say nothing and do not react.
5. If all your friends do this, do not call them out, just don't participate.
6. Surround yourself with friends that will not do it. It will help you stay strong.
7. Silence can get a point across just as much or even more then calling someone out.
8. If a person is using sarcasm about someone in the group change the subject and later on talk about something great about that person.
Of course we are not perfect. We will make mistakes, but to start and acknowledge the behavior can lead to change.
Please make sure to follow me on facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/motherhoodandeverythinginbetween?ref_type=bookmark
Here are some bible verses that convey my point:
Proverbs 16:28: A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.
Proverbs 19: 1-29: Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in speech and is a fool. Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way. When a man's folly brings his way to ruin, his heart rages against the Lord. Wealth brings many new friends, but a poor man is deserted by his friend. A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will not escape.
Ephesians 4:29: Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
The definition of jokes is this: a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline.
We can still be funny and have a sense of humor without having it at the expense of others.
Sarcasm:
I really have a hard time with personal attacks through sarcasm. People say things that are suppose to be jokes but really they are a attack on ones looks, beliefs, parenting style or many other things. If you do not accepted the joke, then you are looked on as a poor sport or fragile. But really you are being bullied.
Bible verses about sarcasm:
Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Proverbs 15: 1-33 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good. A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. A fool despises his father's instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.
Proverbs 13: 1-25 A wise son hears his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. From the fruit of his mouth a man eats what is good, but the desire of the treacherous is for violence. Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied. The righteous hates falsehood, but the wicked brings shame and disgrace.
My challenge is this:
Can we use jokes not at others expenses? Can we stop finding that sarcasm against someone else is acceptable social behavior?
If you have a hard time and want to change your behavior or how you react here are some ways to help change this habit.
1. Commit to not using jokes or sarcasm at someone's expense.
2. Mom's golden rule: If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. Simple but true.
3. Begin to step back and recognize when people are saying things that would hurt others.
4. Do not laugh when others are talking like this. Just say nothing and do not react.
5. If all your friends do this, do not call them out, just don't participate.
6. Surround yourself with friends that will not do it. It will help you stay strong.
7. Silence can get a point across just as much or even more then calling someone out.
8. If a person is using sarcasm about someone in the group change the subject and later on talk about something great about that person.
Of course we are not perfect. We will make mistakes, but to start and acknowledge the behavior can lead to change.
Please make sure to follow me on facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/motherhoodandeverythinginbetween?ref_type=bookmark
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